What Is FetLife?

Sometimes, it is hard to meet new people, much less people with unconventional sexual interests. An unconventional sexual interest can be anything ranging from a foot fetish to voyeurism. In cases like this, it may be helpful to join a dating site or online community that is designed for people with alternative kinks and fetishes. That is where FetLife.com comes into play.

What is FetLife, you may wonder? FetLife is an online community and social network for BDSM enthusiasts and people with kinks and fetishes. It was first launched in January 2008 under the ownership of BitLove, Inc. Not to be confused with a traditional dating site, it was designed to be a safe space for kinksters to connect and explore their sexualities without judgment.

With over 11 million members, FetLife is the largest online community for kinksters. If you're reading this, chances are you're interested in being a part of its community.

This FetLife review will cover all you need to know about the site and how it operates. We'll discuss the site's login process, features, costs, safety, and other aspects you should know. Since this is an unbiased review, we'll also highlight aspects of the site that we find problematic. By the end of this review, you'll be equipped with enough knowledge to form your own conclusion about the community.

Pros

• FetLife has tons of features.

• There are many safety measures.

• Millions of erotic pictures, videos, and writings.

• The site is free to use, with the option for users to make optional, inexpensive donations.

• Members can host local meetups.

• The site is diverse and inclusive.

• 100% transparency.

• There is a FetLife app.

Cons

• The site design is not appealing. 

• The Fetlife app is unavailable in the Apple Store or the Google Play Store. It must be downloaded directly from the site.

Login Process

The FetLife login process is simple, but you must set aside at least 5 minutes to complete it. You will be asked to share your gender, orientation, bedroom role, date of birth, city, email address, and location. Fet Life is inclusive when it comes to gender and orientation, so there are several options to choose from. For example, you can be a straight male or a bi-curious female. Bedroom role refers to the way you present yourself during sex. There are many options to choose from in this section as well, e.g., Dominant, Switch, Madame.

You will also have to create a nickname and password. FetLife advises against using a nickname you use in your everyday life if you want to be discreet. Then, you will be given the opportunity to upload a picture, but this step is optional. After this, you are asked to provide your mobile number so Fet Life can verify you. They will send a one-time 6-digit code to your number. Once that's submitted, you will have to verify your email address.

Go to your email and look for a message from Fet Life. Check your junk or spam folder if you don't see it right away. The email contains another 6-digit code that expires in an hour. Return to the site and submit the 6-digit code. Once your email has been verified, you will have full access to FetLife.com.

Profile Completion

Your FetLife profile is split into 5 different sections: general info, about, relationships, fetishes, and websites. In the "General Info" section, you can share your gender, orientation, bedroom role, pronouns, birthdate, and how active you are in the BDSM lifestyle. You can also state the type of relationship you're looking for. The "About" section gives you the opportunity to write a bio about yourself.

In the "Relationship" section, you can state your relationship status and if you're currently in a D/s relationship. A D/s relationship is between a dom and a sub. You can share your fetishes in the "Fetishes" section, and in the "Websites" section, you can provide a link to a website if you own any of your social media handles. Most dating sites and social networks have general info, an "about me" section, and relationship fields. Only adult sites might have a "Fetishes" section. Most dating sites do not have a "Websites" section because they generally discourage the idea of sharing personal contact information for safety reasons.

User Account Quality

Since Fetlife operates as a social network and not a dating site, there is no matchmaking algorithm. However, there are millions of members you can connect with. As long as your kink isn't illegal and able to be enjoyed by two consenting adults, you'll be able to find members who are into the same thing.

Due to the nature of the site, you'll find some accounts with just pictures of body parts and not faces. This is not surprising because some people prefer to be private and discreet on adult sites like Fet Life. However, you can find a large number of members who are expressive about their kinks and fetishes and proudly show off their faces. There are even members who post erotic videos and pictures on their profiles. Furthermore, it appears that most members take the time to fill out their profiles completely.

Dating Features

Groups

On FetLife, members can create groups comprised of users with similar characteristics. The users can have commonalities regarding their interests, locations, appearances, and so on. For example, there is a group called "Rough Sex" which is evidently for members who enjoy rough sex. There are even groups for members with similar intentions on Fet Life. In another example, there is a group called "FetLife Personals" that allows its members to post ads seeking personal relationships.

Each group has a description and a unique set of rules. Group members can start discussion threads and interact with each other. Although FetLife.com is a fetish community, members have unique kinks and fetishes, so joining a group can help you connect with people who share the same interests as you.

Events

You can schedule real-life events on FetLife that other members can RSVP to in advance. You can provide details about the event, such as the theme, purpose, date, time, location, dress code, and more. You can host BDSM parties, educational and social events, conferences, festivals, and sex parties. Some events can even be virtual, e.g., Skype and Zoom parties.

Although FetLife is primarily a social network, you may have a desire to physically interact with other members. Hosting and attending events is a great way to mix and mingle with people in the Fet Life and the fetish community at large. At these events, you can meet new people, develop connections, learn new things, and explore your interests in an inclusive environment.

Writings

Writings are virtual journal entries that members can post on the site. These writings can be anything, ranging from erotica to notes on any topic you feel passionate about. Although FetLife is a proponent of free speech, the site still has rules and regulations on posted content. For example, while you are allowed to discuss race play, you are not allowed to promote racism or hate speech. All the rules and conditions can be found in the Terms of Use.

Posting writings is an effective way of expressing yourself. It gives you the opportunity to shed insight into who you are and the kinds of things you're into. People can comment on writings, so you can also use this feature to connect and converse with other members.

Pictures & Videos

You can upload pictures and videos to FetLife.com. They can be modest or erotic in nature, although members mainly post erotic content. You are also allowed to post erotic content with a partner, e.g., sex acts. When it comes to viewing media content other members post, pictures are open to all, but videos require payment.

Posting pictures and videos allows you to showcase your kinks and fetishes. This sends the message that you are passionate about your sexual interests. It shows that you're a person who doesn't just talk the talk but also walks the walk. This may inspire other members to engage with your profile. Furthermore, pictures and videos make your profile visually appealing.

Status Updates

Fetlife profiles have status updates. A status update is a message (often brief in nature) posted on a social network that tells users what a person is doing or feeling. On Fet Life, status updates can contain up to 369 characters. They can be shared with the entire FetLife.com community or just your friends. You can also use your status updates to post polls.

Sharing status updates will allow you to express yourself and connect with other users. You can share any erotic thoughts you may have or sexual acts you may have done lately. You can also use the polls to gain insight into how others think. People can also comment on your status updates. This may lead to a healthy discussion.

Kinktionary

FetLife has a kinktionary, which is essentially a dictionary of terms commonly used in the fetish community. As of February 15th, 2024, the kinktionary has 72,374 words and 824 articles. You can edit a term or article if you want, but it will have to be reviewed and approved first. Other members can provide feedback on your suggestions.

The kinktionary is an educational feature, and it is useful for members who are new to the fetish community. Ideally, these are people who are still exploring their sexualities and learning their likes and dislikes, so a written guide would be quite valuable.

Prices & Costs

Fetlife is free to use for the most part, but you get access to certain perks if you choose to support them. To clarify, support, in this instance, refers to a voluntary monetary donation. Fet Life needs support in order to operate and continually develop its platform. It costs $5 a month to support it, and there are several payment methods to choose from. They include credit cards, cryptocurrency, US bank transfers, gift card trade-ins, physical mail, and many others. By supporting Fet Life, you get access to the following perks:

• An "I Support FetLife" badge on your profile.

• Access to today's most popular pictures, videos, and writings.

• Access to all pictures and videos.

• See everything you've ever loved and bookmarked.

• Go back 25x further in your activity feed.

• Personalize your activity feed.

• Unlimited photo albums.

• Hide inline ads on mobile devices.

• Early access to new features.

FetLife also has a shop. It is called "Kinky Tease" and they currently only stock one item: a hoodie. It is called the "Devil Heart Hoodie". It costs $69.99 but is sometimes discounted to $59.99.

How Safe Is Fetlife?

Use of Personal Information

During registration, you will be asked to submit your email address, mobile number, and date of birth. As you browse the site, FetLife will collect your IP address, browser type, language preference, and so on. Your email is needed to send you important information about the site, and your mobile number is used in case the website needs to verify your profile via text. Lastly, your birthdate is used to confirm that you're at least 18 years old.

On Fet Life, your privacy is of the utmost importance. Your information is not shared in a manner that could compromise your privacy and security. If your information is shared, it is done to perform functions directly related to the site, such as improving your user experience or confirming your date of birth. FetLife may also share information for purposes related to the law. If you delete your profile or content posted on your profile, it is permanently deleted within 30 years.

Third Parties

FetLife.com may work with third-party advertisers whose goal is to sell products or services to you. Should you choose to purchase anything from these advertisers, you are accepting that you are now subject to the Terms of Use of these individual sites. Fet Life does not hold itself accountable for any damages that may arise from using these sites.

Fet Life is also not responsible for the content displayed on these sites. In essence, should you interact with these third-party advertisers, you are doing so at your own risk. Other sites like Fetlife may share your data with third-party advertisers, but under no circumstances will they share, sell, rent, or exchange your personal data for commercial purposes.

Profile Verification

FetLife members can verify their profiles. Profile verification serves two purposes: to prove your authenticity and to prevent instances of CSAM and revenge porn. You can verify your profile by providing FetLife with a government-issued ID or uploading a selfie on your profile. If Fet Life suspects that you are underage, they have to verify your age.

Verified members get a special badge signifying their verified status, and they also get special perks. These include profile prioritization in member lists, first preference as it regards media in the search results, and many others.

No Downloads Allowed

The risk of someone else downloading your photos and videos is present on pretty much any dating site nowadays. However, Fet Life has implemented security protocols to prevent such instances. Although, this doesn't mean that it can't happen at all. If someone is determined to download your content, they will find a way to achieve this. This is why you must be mindful of the content you post.

Privacy Controls

There are several settings you can adjust to give you better control over your privacy. You have access to the following:

Inbox Control: You can control who can send you a private message. You can also control who can send you pictures in private conversations.

Location Visibility: You can control how you want your location to be displayed on your profile. For example, if you live in Phoenix, Arizona, USA, you can change your settings to only display Arizona to general Fetlife members and Phoenix, Arizona to your friends.

Content Visibility: You can control exactly who sees your status updates, writings, pictures, and videos.

Search, Places, and Explore Section Controls: Members can prevent their content from appearing in on-site searches and the places section. Members can also prevent their content from appearing in the "Kinky & Popular" or "Fresh & Pervy" sections.

Final Thoughts

All in all, we believe that FetLife is a safe, fun, and inclusive place to connect with others in the fetish community. It's not a dating site, but it is still possible to find dates there, as members sometimes hold local meetups. There are numerous benefits, including multiple features and safety measures, lots of erotic media content, and so many others. Usually, sites of this caliber charge their members, but Fet Life is 99% free.

Based on our observations, it was hard to find any drawbacks about Fet Life. There is very little to be dissatisfied with. The site design may be a bit drab, but it's not a dealbreaker. It's easy to navigate and loads quickly, and we think that's more important than the visuals. Furthermore, the FetLife app is not on any of the app stores, but at least there's an app. To sum this review up, the main goal of Fet Life is for users to have fun with like-minded kinksters, and we strongly believe that's likely to happen if you join this community.

FAQ

What Is FetLife?

Fetlife is an inclusive social network and online community for BDSM enthusiasts and people with kinks and fetishes.

How Much Is FetLife?

FetLife is free to use for the most part, but you can support the site for $5 a month and gain access to special perks.

How To Delete FetLife Account?

To delete your FetLife account, click the tiny arrow in the upper right-hand corner, select "Account Settings", and click "Deactivate or Delete my Account" on the right.

What Was The Fetlife Controversy About?

The Fetlife controversy is about the tragic events involving Yingying Zhang and former Fetlife user Brendt Christensen.